grey water, black water, and all other colours of water

The planning application is spreading some roots and growing moss and fungus as it lurks about on the desk of the traffic engineer at City of Stirling. This is the guy who saddled us with the complication of having to provide 2 car bays, both with forward drive egress and ingress; and then eventually produced his interpretation of the design solution, which we finally used to keep the mobs happy! Strange that it would take so long to approve your own design….

So while someone’s unknown-sized backside is resting itself on our beloved drawings, Christian set about doing some “serious work”- Wind surfing.

Our Hydraulics Engineer has offered kindly to work out all our hydraulics layouts for the house (in other words, where the shit flows) in return for Christian giving him some Wind surfing lessons. We reckon it’s a win win situation, except the wind didn’t co-operate a few times they actually made it to the river.
When I saw the Hydraulics drawings, I glanced sideways at Christian in a tilted-head stare…. Christian, why do we need 3 soak wells, 2 booster pumps..................
Christian why don’t we have a drain or overflow in the bathrooms? Only in the showers? Back in India (ohhh there she goes again, thought Christian), we use a bucket and mug to do our daily’s. No drain is like no…….
Christian retaliates furiously – Well in Germany, says Christian (ja ja du ist nervensage, I think to myself in my near-perfect German Thinking Grammar), we don’t have drains or showers, but we have baths.
The little argument sorted itself out when we realized we both don’t use Buckets or Mugs or Baths anymore – we use showers, and a little hourglass with blue sand that lets you shower exactly 1 minute and 35 seconds – the Water Save Standard set by the Kelloggs CrunchyNut Box it came in.

So after we worked out that the grey water was certainly not going to the kitchen sink, or the black water was…. Wait a minute; we aren’t recycling our black water, or our Yellow or Brown Water. What a relief.